What to Do When Two Managers Give You Conflicting Instructions
Being caught between two managers who each expect different things from you is genuinely stressful, partly because it feels like you’re the one who has to choose a side. In most cases, you’re not. The instructions conflicting is usually a sign that the two managers themselves haven’t aligned, which means the actual fix involves them, not just your own judgment call.
Don’t Quietly Pick a Side
The instinct to just choose one instruction and proceed, hoping it works out, is understandable but risky. It puts you in the position of having made a unilateral call on a disagreement that wasn’t actually yours to resolve.
Surface the Conflict Directly and Promptly
The most effective response is simply naming the conflict clearly, as soon as you notice it, rather than trying to quietly manage it yourself.
Put both instructions in writing, in the same message
A single email or message to both managers, clearly stating what each one asked for, removes any ambiguity about what’s actually being asked.
Bring Both Managers Into the Same Conversation
Rather than relaying messages back and forth between two managers separately, a brief three-way conversation, even a short one, resolves this far more efficiently.
“Could we have a quick three-way conversation to align on this?”
This is a reasonable, professional request, not an escalation, and most managers will appreciate not being left to guess at the other’s expectations.
If There’s a Genuine Deadline at Risk, Say So Explicitly
If the conflicting instructions are blocking progress on something time-sensitive, make the time pressure clear rather than letting the deadline quietly slip while the conflict gets sorted out.
If the Pattern Repeats, Raise the Structural Issue
An occasional conflict between two managers is normal in any matrix or dual-reporting structure. A recurring pattern is worth raising as a structural concern, not just resolving case by case each time.
“One conflicting instruction is a misunderstanding. Five of them in a month is a sign the reporting structure itself needs a conversation, and that conversation is worth having explicitly rather than just absorbing the friction each time.”
WorkRightsIndia“This has come up a few times now. Could we agree on a clearer process for when our priorities conflict?”
This frames it as a process improvement rather than a complaint about either individual manager.
Quick Reference
| Situation | What to Do |
|---|---|
| First time this happens | Surface it directly to both managers, in writing |
| Conflicting and time-sensitive | State the deadline explicitly when raising it |
| Both managers are slow to respond | Suggest a brief three-way conversation |
| This keeps happening | Raise it as a structural process issue, not a one-off |
What to Do Right Now
- Don’t silently choose a side — name the conflict to both managers as soon as you notice it.
- Put both instructions in writing, in a single message both managers can see.
- If it keeps happening, raise it as a structural issue rather than resolving it quietly each time.
The One Line to Remember
Conflicting instructions from two managers usually means the two of them haven’t aligned, not that you have a decision to make on their behalf. Surfacing that clearly, in writing, is what actually resolves it.
This article is for informational purposes only and reflects general workplace observations rather than legal advice. If conflicting treatment from a manager connects to harassment, discrimination, or retaliation, consider raising this formally with HR or a qualified employment lawyer.